On Separation

I wonder if my dad tasted a sweet lump of separation in 1981 when he realized it might be the last time he and I would spend an extended period of time together in his professional environment.

It happened to me earlier this month.  The ride to work, the walk into the office, the agreement that my son and I would catch up to talk about the day’s activities after we’d settled in, and the knowledge that he’d be around to fulfill his duties as an intern were all in the past.  In their places were the quiet emptiness of the passenger seat, the absence of his soft footfalls up the stairwell from the parking garage, and the fading memory of his bleary morning smile as he strode off toward his cubicle around the corner and I to my office down the hall.  As I settled into my routine, I found myself recalling the many ways that he made my job easier this summer and how special it was to have someone so close to me there to lend a hand wherever he could.

Seeing my son make a significant contribution in my professional environment made his absence more acute.  When he started, I was worried that I’d be able to find enough work for him to do and that it would be interesting and relevant to his studies.  But before long he was fully engaged with other young engineers in the office.  He made friends easily.  He demonstrated a knack for data analysis.  And he picked up the rhythm of the office and worked independently.  Weeks before it was time for him to head back to school I realized it was going to be a tough adjustment back to office life without him.

With my dad it wasn’t a matter of working together, but there was a longer period of time when I was a part of his professional life.  All four years of my undergraduate education were spent at the university where he was a professor.  I’d drop by his office to say hello, we’d grab a bite to eat at the student union, on weekends I might go home and ride back to school with him on Monday, and best of all – I was able to enroll in one of his classes.

At the end of those four years, I’m sure there was a period of adjustment for him too.  He probably missed the rides to work together, the shared walks from the parking lot, and the occasional lunches.  I’m guessing that he would have missed our classroom time as professor and student the most.  As a person who loved the college experience so intensely that he chose to never leave that setting, I’m certain that he relished the opportunity to share the teaching experience with me in the classroom.  Maybe it hit him hardest during the final hour of that last class when I was happily looking forward to the next semester and he was anticipating seeing another student sitting in my seat.

I wonder if he felt like I do now.  I’d rather retain the ache of separation than let it fade.  It’s a good ache.  It tells me that the memory of working with my son is still fresh.  Soon I know that the details will blur as time passes and memories of other events accumulate.  I’ll recall the broad strokes of working together, but not the intricate details of specific projects, the subtle inside jokes about co-workers, or the specifics of his accomplishments.  As often happens, the generic memory will likely be one of a happy and special time that we shared together.

Maybe the broad strokes of our time together at work will be strong enough to elicit that lump in my throat years hence.  In the case of my memories of life at the university with my father the events of four years seem like a movie reel labeled, “university days with Dad.”   When I think back to those times, special events pop up like still photos in my mind as the film spins along and I attempt to focus on the details.  For me, the memories elicit nostalgic feelings of happy times past but not a lump in the throat.  Would that I could ask my dad how memories of those times affect him all these years later, but that opportunity was lost with his passing some 23 years ago now – a loss that still elicits its own unique ache.

One never knows what events will have a lasting impact on others.  We don’t know how our words or actions will be perceived or remembered or what influence they’ll have on others.  What we do know is how we feel when we recall significant events – either good or bad.  For me, memories of hurtful things said or done to a loved one can elicit a lump in the throat similar to happy times.  Whether associated with the memory of my father’s passing, the return of my daughter around the world to Shanghai after a visit home, hurtful things said to a loved one, or the conclusion of my son’s internship, I think the poignant emotion that exhibits itself as a lump in my throat is one of departure, distance, and separation. 

I’ll try to hold onto the sweet aches of separation associated with happy times so as to recall the positive influences that those events have had on my psyche.  And, I have no choice but to also live with my mind’s insistence on recalling those unhappy events when I’ve created bitter separations as life lessons for how to be a better person.

180° South

I recently watched the 2010 documentary "180° South:  Conquerers of the Useless," from director Chris Malloy.  According to the IMDb website (IMDb), "The film follows  the adventurer Jeff Johnson as he retraces the epic 1968 journey of his heroes Yvon Chouinard and Doug Tompkins to Patagonia."

If that was it, it would still be an enjoyable film - the scenery is terrific; there's a love story; there are struggles, defeat, and some successes; and it's all bundled around the adventures of a likable main character and his friends.  For me though, it was much more than a retracing of a journey from 40 years in the past, it was the encounter with Chouinard and Tompkins themselves that made the movie. 

The Wikipedia article on Chouinard can be found here:  Y. Chouinard, but if you've ever had an interest in rock climbing, you probably know the name.  A self-taught blacksmith, he started making and refining equipment designs when he was only 19.  His pitons became so popular amongst the Yosemite Valley climbing community that he eventually started his own company.  With a buddy, Tom Frost, he's credited with starting the sport of ice climbing by redesigning the basic tools of the trade:  ice axes and crampons.  But, when he became aware of the impact his steel hardware was having on the rock faces that he loved, he turned his back on the pitons that had created his early success and went on to develop tools for "clean climbing."  Later in life when it was learned that cotton, the primary raw material used by his clothing company, Patagonia, was one of the worst for the environment due to pesticide use, he helped usher in the organic cotton industry in California. 

The Wikipedia article on Tompkins can be found here:  D. Tompkins.  His early claims to fame were his roles in the creation of the companies The North Face and ESPRIT.  Despite achieving huge business success, concerns about the ecological impacts of the industry contributed to his separation from that life in the late 80s and his migration back to South America where he and his pal Chouinard had climbed 20 years earlier.  There, he established the Foundation for Deep Ecology (see Deep Ecology) and The Conservation Land Trust (Land Trust).

When Jeff and his friends finally reach Patagonia and meet Chouinard and Tompkins, what began as a homage to one's heroes becomes a commentary on unintended consequences and the importance of doing something about them.  Earlier in the film during an unexpected sojourn on Easter Island (he had hitched a ride on a yacht and the skipper had to make repairs there after damage to the mast), Johnson first discussed the unintended consequence of deforestation on the ecology of the island.  When the travelers meet Chouinard and Tompkins, land conservation and ecological issues are discussed in light of hydroelectric projects planned for the region. 

Johnson says, "It's easy for us to blindly consume when we don't see the affect it has on other places."  He comments that the electric power consumed by video gamers in the U.S. is equivalent to that consumed by a city the size of San Diego, California.

Chouinard's take is that, "The hardest thing in the world is to simplify your life.  It's so easy to make it complex.  What's important is leading an examined life because most of the damage caused by humans is caused unintentionally, I think."

Tompkins argues that the conventional wisdom that "you can't go back" is flawed.  "Well, what happens if you get to the cliff and you take one step forward or you can do a 180-degree turn and take one step forward.  Which way you going?  Which is progress?"

Chouinard replies, "the solution for a lot of the world's problems may be to turn around and take a forward step.  You can't just keep trying to make a flawed system work."

These guys are speaking from experience.  Chouinard had the courage to make 180-degree turns when the consequences of his actions where discovered to have negative impacts.  He killed his piton business and went on the create "clean climbing" and he committed his clothing company to using pesticide-free cotton when he learned of the damage of conventional forms.  Tompkins too turned his back on one path to pursue something completely different.  In so doing, he has helped preserve hundreds of thousands of acres of habitat and ecosystems in a region of the world that he loves.  

Chouinard says that he's a "live for the moment" kinda guy.  But, at the same time both he and Tompkins recognize the importance of paying attention to what you're doing and changing course when it's clear you're screwing up.  That's a valuable lesson we can all stand to learn.

5th 8 Recap

I Ching explorations – Interlude 4

This is a recap of the 5^th group of eight hexagrams according to the King Wen sequence:  numbers 33 through 40.

33 - RETREAT

34 - STAND STRONG

Some times are right for strategic Retreat (33).  Other times favor Standing Strong (34).

From Standing Strong (34) can emerge great Progress (35).

35 - PROGRESS

36 - STEP BACK

The time to make Progress (35) is balanced by a time to Step Back (36) from society.

After Stepping Back (36) the Family (37) serves as a model for productive social order.

37 - FAMILY

38 - OPPOSING FORCES

When joined together as a Family (37) Opposing Forces (38) are inevitable.

When confronted with Opposition (38) seek to understand the nature of the Obstacle (39).

39 - OBSTACLES PRESENT

40 - OBSTACLES REMOVED

After Obstacles being Present (39) the wheel turns and Obstacles are Removed (40).  But only for awhile as a time of general Decrease (41) will surely follow.

#33 Tun / Retreat & #34 Ta Chuang / The Power of the Great

#33 Tun / Retreat – Heaven (Ch’ien) over Mountain (Kên)

#34 Ta Chuang / The Power of the Great – Thunder (Chên) over Heaven (Ch’ien)

#33 Heaven over Mountain

#34 Thunder over Heaven

Theme:  A Time to Retreat : A Time to Stand Strong

Aspect	#33 Tun Retreat	#34 Ta Chuang The Power of the Great
Situation
Symbolically	The mountain rises toward far away heaven.	Thunder rises with the strength of heaven.
Socially	A hostile and inferior force is on the rise.	Great power is a means, not an end.  Inappropriate actions will generate chaos.
Individually	A sage rises above and withdraws from inferior intents.	While now blessed with great power, ensure that actions are honorable.
Response
Symbolically	Heaven retreats upward out of reach of the mountain.	Thunder’s movement is in harmony with the movement of heaven.
Socially	Do not confront or become emotionally entangled with the opposing force.  Be content with small actions directed at eventual resurgence.	When justice and greatness are united, actions are in accord with heaven and earth.
Individually	The superior one retreats into one’s own thoughts and remains detached from the inferior.	The superior person avoids doing anything that is not in harmony with what is right.
Outcome
Symbolically	Heaven remains out of reach of the highest mountain.	The union of strength and motion produces The Power of the Great.
Socially	By avoiding engagement, vengeance, and hatred, one preserves resources for future counter-movement.	Actions that are in accordance with the times can improve relations and implement good works.
Individually	Through dignified reserve and detachment one forces the inferior to a standstill.	By using one’s strength for the good of others, one strengthens one’s own spirit.
The Lines
Top Line	Detached from the situation, one proceeds without guilt or doubt and is blessed with good fortune.	If one recognizes that neither advance nor retreat is now possible and yields, complications are avoided.
5th	One effects a friendly but resolute retreat and is not drawn into irrelevant discussions.	Dispense with stubborn attitudes now that all is won and nothing remains to be proven.
4th	Abruptly seize the moment to retreat.  Hesitation and emotional turmoil at such times leads to suffering.	The less one’s power shows externally, the more lasting is the effect toward one’s goals.
3rd	Surrounded by inferiors one is both insolated from further difficulty but also held back from retreating.	One who boasts of power risks dangerous entanglement.  Concealed power is more effective now.
2nd	While retreating, cling tightly to what is right and don’t be swayed.	Don’t be over confident in successful advance – use restraint and do what is right.
Bottom Line	One is too close to the adversary – don’t draw attention by taking action.  Keep still.	Advancing by force leads to misfortune at this time.
Recap
#33 – Retreat:  Now is a time to retreat from rising darkness.  Retreat is not the same as flight.  Flight is simply a reaction aimed at saving oneself – some might call such action cowardly and weak.  Retreat is the strategic action of the strong which leads to eventual success.  In retreat one does not simply abandon the field.  Instead, one recognizes the right time to withdraw while making it difficult for the opponent to advance.  We do not abandon our principles, but save ourselves and prepare for the countermovement. #34 – Great Strength:  This is an auspicious time – what one says is heard, what one thinks is felt, what one does is followed.  One must not forget to ask what is right and honorable.  Although great power has been amassed, danger may result from taking action too hastily or applying too much strength.  Don’t let power degenerate to mere force.  The superior person unites great power with justice and correctness to achieve actions that are in harmony with the established order.

#33 Tun / Retreat

#34 Ta Chuang / The Power of the Great

#35 Chin / Progress & #36 Ming I / Darkening of the Light

#35 Chin / Progress – Fire (Li) over Earth (K’un)

#36 Ming I / Darkening of the Light – Earth (K’un) over Fire (Li)

Fire over Earth over Fire...Theme:  A Time to Proceed – A Time to Step Back

Aspect	#35 Chin Progress	#36 Ming I Darkening of the Light
Situation
Symbolically	The rising sun spreads its energy across the earth.	The sun’s light is obscured by the earth.
Socially	A wise leader makes progress in the company of helpers.	A dark entity has power over the wise and able thus causing them harm.
Individually	An enlightened individual benefits the entire society.	One is confronted with forces that threaten one’s convictions.
Response
Symbolically	The rising sun emerges from darkness and casts its pristine light afar.	The sun’s light is temporarily hidden by the dark but never fails.
Socially	Join forces with others to achieve great things.	Let things pass – don’t challenge now – keep a low profile.
Individually	Monitor the needs of others, be supportive and communicative.  Foster altruistic motivations in dealing with both peers and those in authority.	Appear to be agreeable with adversaries while hiding one’s true convictions.
Outcome
Symbolically	The sun’s brightness expands gradually over a widening area.	Darkness hides the light, but its virtue isn’t snuffed out.
Socially	Progress is being made!	If one does not compete, the world cannot compete with him.  (Lao Tzu)
Individually	One’s altruistic behavior results in beneficent influence and spiritual growth.	By acknowledging evil as a natural component of life, one develops sound character.
The Lines
Top Line	Proceeding aggressively may be warranted, but not toward those with whom there is no close connection.	Bad times have consumed the good upon which they have thrived and must now, of necessity, give way to the light once more.
5th	Continue in righteous progress – act with gentleness, reserve, and moderation.	When unable to combat and forced to tolerate extreme darkness, conceal true thoughts, redouble caution, and cling to the light within.
4th	Progress is made but by dubious means that will be discovered.  Beware.	One achieves a clear understanding of the dire and hopeless situation.  Leave the scene before matters worsen.
3rd	Progress is made with the help of others – no regrets.	The light has a chance encounter with the dark and seizes control.  Changes must be made gradually.
2nd	Communication with one in authority is blocked.  Persevere and remain virtuous.	Although injured by the dark, one’s attention is on helping others which brings good fortune.
Bottom Line	Remain calm, perfect your work, and be generous when others lack confidence in your ability.	One attempts to rise above obstacles and encounters hostility.  One chooses to suffer rather than compromise principles.
Recap
The inverse hexagrams in this pair represent opposite situations.  In #35 - Chin, the light force is ascendant.  Like the sun’s rays spilling across the countryside that inevitably encounter shadow, those with pure intent who meet with rebuff should maintain a virtuous and high-minded sense of social progress.  By so doing, one will be supported by others and one’s example will be spread forth.  Just as the sun’s radiance chases shadows away, the brilliance of one’s mind and virtuous example enables one at this time to achieve great progress in inner development, have a positive influence on those in authority, and effect positive social change. #36 Ming I, by contrast, characterizes a time when one’s inner light should be hidden.  This is a time when darkness is ascendant, times are hard, and one is not in a position of strength.  Rather than be swept up in the pervading dark energy, the I Ching councils that one should withdraw from the fray, bide one’s time, and maintain a gentle outward composure while nurturing one’s inner flame.  By hiding beliefs that are currently unpopular, one avoids aggression and evil finds no fuel.  In time, the dark will dissipate and one’s light will be appreciated as the cycle continues.

#35 Chin / Progress

#36 Ming I / Darkening of the Light

#37 Chia Jên / The Family & #38 K’uei / Opposition

Theme:  Productive Social Order : Balanced Opposing Forces  

#37 The Family:  Wind over Fire

#38 Opposition:  Fire over Lake

Aspect	#37 Chia Jên The Family	#38 K’uei Opposition
Situation
Symbolically	The influence that goes out from within the family is like the wind that’s created by fire.	Two incompatible elements:  hot fire rises above and the humid lake falls below.
Socially	When the family unit, as the smallest unit of social relationship, is in proper order, larger units built upon it will also be in order.  In traditional culture, the husband’s role was outside the home and the wife’s was inside.  This hexagram reflects the importance of faithfulness, loyalty, and respect in social relationships.	Two parties are opposed, estranged.  Opposing parties cannot carry out great undertakings in common.
Individually	One’s behavior should be consistent with familial roles based on respect and propriety.	An inner duality or conflict causes indecision.
Response
Symbolically	Hot air rises from the fire and fulfills its nature by becoming wind.	Fire (illumination) seeks clarity above while Lake (pleasure) finds satisfaction below – when in contact the two elements, fire and water, retain their own natures.
Socially	When all members of the family fulfill their duties the family travels the right path and a basis for moral practice amongst larger social units is established.	Affirm friendly relations – emphasize cooperation and seek common ground while respecting differences and retaining one’s individuality.
Individually	The individual should make the needs of the group equal to one’s personal needs.	One may appear indecisive as one weighs conflicting options.  Attempt to see both viewpoints clearly.  Maintaining one’s individuality aids in avoiding stalemate.
Outcome
Symbolically	Through the wind generated by fire, the fire exerts influence outward.	The two elements deviate – that is their nature.
Socially	When all families travel the right path, the world will be stable.  If there is a conflict of roles and people are not willing to defer, social problems may occur at this time.	Opposing forces neutralize each other but mutual accord can be achieved by diplomatically respecting differing opinions.  Gradual changes in small matters may still be accomplished.
Individually	When the individual treats organizations as family groups, finds the proper role, and fulfills those obligations, ones goals will be more easily achieved.  Choosing a role for which one is suited will help ensure that one’s efforts have meaning. One’s influence on others must proceed from within.  As flame depends on fuel, so too must one’s words depend on one’s convictions.  “Words have influence only when they are pertinent and clearly related to definite circumstances.” (W/B 144). And, words must be reinforced by one’s actions.  “If words and conduct are not in accord and not consistent, they will have no effect.” (W/B 145).	By dispensing with preconceptions, we’re able to appreciate differing viewpoints and gain a broader perspective of the natural interaction of universal forces and a sense of oneness in a world of contradictions.
The Lines:  note that here and for forthcoming I Ching posts I will adopt the convention of inverting the line-by-line discussion such that the discussions appear in the same orientation as the lines themselves with the bottom line at the bottom.
Top Line	One sets an example for the family and one’s influence thereby extends well beyond.	One has become isolated by mistrust but eventually perceives one’s errors in judgment and tensions are relieved.
5th	A loving leader is trusted.	Opposition may obscure one’s awareness of a sincere helper.  When recognized, go to meet and get to work.
4th	Balancing income and expenses brings good fortune.	Despite opposition one finds a kinsman who can be trusted.
3rd	Balance indulgence and severity but err towards the severe to avoid chaos.	Through difficult times, if one clings to what one knows is right, things will improve.
2nd	Remain gentle and steadfast - meet the immediate needs of the family.	An unexpected informal encounter presents an opportunity.
Bottom Line	Establish firm roles when the group is formed.	Seek not to reunify parties by force – be patient and guard against being forced into anything.
Recap
	The family is viewed as the fundamental unit of social organization.  Mutual love within the family produces harmony. Familial relationships appear in larger and more complex organizations.  Understanding one’s position within an organization from the perspective of the family may help one to more easily achieve one’s goals. Familial harmony demonstrates how larger social and political groups can achieve the same.	Two energies present opposing forces.  There is no judgment of good or bad, simply a mutual respect for polar opposition. Through observation of these extremes we recognize the multiplicity of combinations possible from their union.  In so doing, we gain a deeper understanding of the structure of the world around us. By seeing both sides objectively, we appreciate the inherent values in each and move toward cooperation.

#37 Chia Jên (Jia Ren) / The Family

#38 K’uei (Kui) / Opposition